Its Happening With or Without You

you told me you would be there on my journey. you would walk with me as i pursued a life i was passionate about. but im finding now you attached strings to that. stipulations i was unaware of and cant adhere to. how do you go the distance and stay inside the lines. you believed i could do this, i dont know if i believe that. your dream and my dream were one and the same but now that my dream is calling me elsewhere your dream has changed. but this is happening. i want it to happen with you, but do what you have to.

just a few mistakes...

I GUESS ITS SAFE TO SAY THAT I HAVE MADE A FEW MISTAKES TODAY. IF THATS NOT ENOUGH THEN TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT FOR ME TO SAY. IS THERE ANYTHING TO MAKE IT ALL OKAY? MY MISTAKES HELP ME TO FIND MY WAY AND THAT DOESNT MAKE THEM OKAY BUT THEY ARE NOT WASTED. IM LEARNING AS I NAVIGATE THIS LIFE WHAT WORKS AND WHAT CANT. I GUESS ITS SAFE TO SAY IM SORRY FOR I HAVE MADE MISTAKES. SOMEWHERE DOWN THE ROAD I HOPE YOU CAN LOOK PAST THEM AND TELL ME ITS OKAY. HOPEFULLY MY MISTAKES HAVENT MADE IT TOO LATE. BUT I DID THINGS I CANT TAKE BACK. THE QUESTION IS IS THERE A FUTURE TO FIX THEM IN? FOR I HAVE MADE MISTAKES TODAY.

Bury Me In Surprise

No two days alike but every moment perfect. Bury me in surprise. All the suspense is worth it. Live it full, all or none. Only complacency lives in between. Every day unique as the sunrise. Its on my mind and in my eyes. You dont get to live the moment twice. Its a shock to my heart, every unexpected moment, but i wont trade it. Life finds its way to give me exactly what i need so bury me.

It will be as long as you want it to be

I promised forever an eternity ago. but who knew it would seem like forever had come and gone so soon. ive tested the waters on what i should be feeling, what i want to be feeling in the midst of all of this. ive been angry and hurt. jealous and bitter. calloused and broken. determined and intentionally ignorant. afraid and hateful. and while for a time all of those made it better i never could let go. i promised forever and at your first opportunity you were out the door. no second thought. no hesitation. i felt wasted and used. i contemplated ways to ruin you. but none of that was me and i couldnt pretend to be someone im not. i wanted to lock the door behind you and never open it again. but the more i thought about it the more i couldnt. i promised forever and so forever it will be.

Slip Away to Change

i found it wont be the same. you slipped away to change and never came back. one could argue that you got distracted. truth be told youve been captivated but the very thing you claimed to never want. and just like that you were gone. i will admit it was all well played. i didnt see it coming until it was too late to save and now youre embracing everything you pushed away when life pushed it at you. oh how quickly things change. i remember it, clear and vivid, perfectly burned into my soul, that day you slipped away. that same moment i swallowed the truth that it wont be the same. there is me but no you. the permanence of that is up for debate but i wont negotiate. it must be all or none. slipping away to change changed me, for the better, and i wont go back or apologize. ive had my wake up wont you wake up i keep asking why. why did i say goodbye to the stranger who replaced you? the truth this time if you dont mind. you slipped away to change and then lied to my face this time. but why? ill keep asking why until all of this makes sense. forget the pretense, get to the heart of it. i took a breath and it was done. you had changed and then youd gone.

fragments of life

do you ever wonder what it would be like if we saw it all as one continuous moment? if our memories never faded...it they remained so vivid that it was like the moment never passed? what if the images in our heads or the emotions in our hearts didnt shatter or disentegrate? what if every time we closed our eyes the sights, smells, sounds came rushing back and suddenly we never left? would life be better if we remembered it all, if forgetting wasnt an option? i remember how you hurt me but the hurt itself is gone. would i want that back? if we were to never forget we would have no choice but to take the worst along with the best. but with the way were designed the old we must forget to make room for the new and not everything, but enough things. our brains store fragments of our lives classifying them according to emotional response. it is unfortunate that often times pain is a stronger feeling than forgiveness and grief greater than joy. i have a catalog of moments vividly remembered and though many are wonderful more are regrettably painful. what if i could remember it all? would it tip the scales any in favor of remembering the good, the joyful, the perfect? or would the scale remain imbalanced as is, pain having more to weigh it down just as joy does? interesting questions. perhaps remembering fragments is intentional? all the details of our battered lives may be too much for our hearts to handle.

familiar stranger

i spent some time with you today. its by far the most fun ive had with someone i use to know. youve made yourself a stranger to my world and so a stranger to me. its a pity really for we use to be the best of friends. and i believe at the heart of all this lies the truth and that truth being we will be again, the best of friends. but today there was me and a version of you that im not well acquainted with. we had fun and it was good but it was different. and i dont know if that difference was good or bad yet. you looked like you. you sounded like you. but my soul, it didnt feel you, though it looked for you. wherever you went is further away then i expected and i cant wander that far to rescue you. as if you would want me to. youre finding your own way and painfully i cant travel with you. shameful it is. im having to carve a new path in uncharted territory. i use to know you and now i dont. ironic i believe. how can someone you know so well become someone you dont know at all?

ashes of dreams you let die

where were you that moment you decided you didnt need it? what reason did you have for choosing to live without it? was there a pro and con list or did you wake up one day and that was it? was it worth it? did you trade one passion for another? or for the "greater good" did you settle? if i may be quite honest i would plead that you arent as happy as you thought you would be. yes you chose to give it up but you will always feel it missing. and your heart will always question. granted you never have to adnit it and you can continue trying to convince yourseld this is the life you wanted. the truth is this is the life you chose, a decision you knew you could live with. but in the beginning you could not forsee how difficult it would be to live without the life you wanted, without the dream that fueled all your passions. its not too late though, you can always rekindle that fire. your dream doesnt have to sit in ashes and you dont have to regret.

the awkward spaces between our strained breathing

heres what i intended. heres the truth. all the words my long pauses kept me from speaking. so here is the truth. and the truth is...all of my resentments ill disguise with a beautiful melody. telling you doesnt seem worth it. i love you and i miss you and theres nothing else to say. it took an effort to build this but only one missing piece, one vital element to break it. i leave it in ruins because it will take far more than what i possess to recreate it. and id ask how much longer well wait but were at different stages. im ready and i dont know if you ever will be and though i hate this i wont let it dictate how i feel. i love you and i miss you. for now theres nothing left to say.

we can play pretend

i can close my eyes and wish it all away. and you can play too. well meet at the same time in the same place and write it all down to keep the story straight. well lock the doors and shut all the curtains. within these four walls will exist our own world, just for us and no one else. sounds perfect. here all our dreams come true and everyone we love is there to see it. here people never leave. it we ever cry they are only tears of joy. if we fight its just for fun. well laugh until it hurts and then keep laughing. i very much enjoy pretending. the skies are always clear and the air fresh. there is no disaster and nothing is a mess. especially not us. i could get use to having it all together. i could pretend forever. within these walls there is no chaos. no petty conversations or self esteem holocaust. its our own selfish eternity. with all of this idealized perfection im starting to miss reality. a truly interesting notion since nothing outside that door is predictable or safe. but maybe we should stop pretending?

sit down my wounded friend

theres a cloud over your head. you cant block it out so you go to bed. night after endless night. you dont run and you dont fight. its there and you do what you can to hide from it. and it from the world. but you cant just run and hide. this cloud covers you but is a product from within you. and a burden you shouldnt have to handle alone. sit now youre safe at home. well make this go. are you hearing that your tears havent been ignored? all that was take from you will be restored. but first you must stoping hiding. stop running. stop pretending this cloud isnt hovering and crushing. a burden is a weight that should be so powerful it forces you out from underneath it, but sometimes we need a little help. im here wounded friend. this is not yours alone. youre safe at home and in my arms. it wont be long now.

HURRY UP AND WAIT

YEARS SEEM TO RACE BY WHILE THE HOURS TRICKLE. A CONSTANT RACE TO GET THERE FIRST BUT TIME WONT LET YOU GO ANY QUICKER. AND NO MATTER HOW FACT YOU RUN THE CLOCK ALWAYS WINS. INFURIATING ISNT IT? ITS LIKE PLAYING A RIGGED GAME. THE CLICKS OF THE SECOND HAND TAUNTING AND YET WE NEVER SEEM TO HAVE ENOUGH. WE RUSH TO GET IT DONE ONLY TO HAVE TO WAIT. ITS A HOPELESS CHARADE AND YOULL ALWAYS BE AT TIMES MERCY. AN UNFORTUNATE CASUALTY.

not everything thats gold glitters

we exaggerate it to elevate it. no one wants it if they see it for what it really is. or who we really are. we trade the truth for consequences. tell a white lie in self defense. too harmless until its too late. the exaggeration was a mistake we didnt catch before it caught up to us. all the time its better to leave it as it is. strange thing this honest existence. not everything should have to shine to catch our eye. wheres the uniqueness in that? does being individual truly not matter? is there no soft spot for the diamond in the rough? no joy in removing all the tarnish or even keeping some for characters sake? you can force the shine but how much of that is fake? life is bound to make us look a little worn. its the proof that we stood while life continued to push. dont you want the world to see the reasons for your deserved glory? to know its not about the shine though it naturally brightens? time itself will reveal the imperfections burned away by fire. you dont have to sparkle to shine. theres no value in how brightly you reflect the light. it comes down to, matters most how you live this life. not everything gold glitters.

APOLOGIES

"yesterday you said my eyes were fading fast away. i said well what do you expect, you asked me not to stay"

you headed down a road you wouldnt let me walk, but i couldnt stop you. and not for lack of trying. but eventually i got tired and you decided you were done. just like that. you didnt slip away, i closed my eyes for mere seconds and in that short breath you were gone. the air rushed from my lungs and i went weak at the knees but whats done is done. i cant change that. i close my eyes and your back is facing me and it hurts me that i didnt figure it out before. even with all the damage done an apology, even an unspoken one will always find you back in my arms safe and sound. until that moment i will hold you in my heart. its amazing that all of this has brought us here, the history being so easily dismissed, like itd never been written. but its written on my heart and always will be. its too late to forget but not too late to forgive. its too late for dignity but never for apologies.

"ill always tell you youre my friend hope i dont have to lie"

i dont want to fight this war

it got hot in here and so we both stepped out for air. now breathing in deep something fresh, clean, we dont want to go back through those doors. would rather leave behind everything we left inside. its amazing, after reading through all of these scenes how we ended up here. its not a hurry that were in, but this should have been long ago finished. timing never seemed perfect. and now that freedom is close at hand we dont want to go back, call it a draw to avoid a massacre. i would rather love you and leave you then fight you and lose you. love is a battlefield, but whos winning if our hands are tied for no reason? love will stay with me, but i cant stay and fight anymore.

two worlds collide

I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT FROM YOU BUT I DONT WANT YOU TO HOLD ANYTHING BACK. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO ASK OF YOU BUT I KNOW YOULL GIVE ME EVERYTHING I DESIRE. I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO TAKE BUT I KNOW I WANT NOTHING LEFT OF ME. I DONT KNOW WHAT IM CRYING FOR BUT I KNOW THE TEARS WONT STOP UNTIL ITS MINE.

i want it all and none of it. i want the best and worst of it. i want heaven for the hell of it. i want it whole just to break it. i want to fail just to make it. i want to hold my breath to remember to breathe. im going to die just to live. i want the longest and the shortest day to be the same. ill stand out to blend in. ill be your worst enemy and your closest friend. ill give you all and none of me. ill go to the darkness to find the light. ill turn the other cheek and win the fight. i will give it all to take it back. ill go first and be the last to stand. ill walk away and never leave. i want to close my eyes to see it all. ill jump off the edge and never fall. ill speak and never make a sound. i want to fly but never leave the ground. ill have it all and keep none of it. ill take the worst with the best of it. ill take heaven for the hell of it.

in the days of my folly ill follow your lead

im weaker on the inside then the world will ever know. i do that on purpose. if youre using me its because im letting you. if you hurt me then ive given you permission. dictating what does and does not effect me is foolishness. but i mimick what i see and the world is littered with those who practice invincibility. my folly does not make me a great judge of character and confuses what i see. so if im following you lead me justly. walk a straight line and keep the light lit. ill follow close behind as long as i can see you. trust you. feel you. dont lose me. without you my folly will be the death of me.

one red light

SHE RAN ONE RED LIGHT. AND THAT WAS THE END. I RUN THEM ALL THE TIME AND NOTHING HAPPENS. ITS NOT FAIR.

its that one moment that is always going to get us. that one moment where we spoke too soon or didnt speak at all. that split second that we cant take back and we spend the rest of our lives trying to make up for. but will anything ever truly be enough to make up for that one that went wrong? even for the moment that wasnt our fault we take the blame because it seems to make it all make sense, but its still not enough. its never going to be enough to make up for that one moment well never get back. it happened and yes its not fair but life never claimed to be anything but. trying to fix your mistake wont bring them back and forcing it to make sense will torment you. if you lose yourself trying to find them what good are you doing, what have you accomplished? that still equals one life lost, the first life lost is a tragedy, the second, life will twist into a morbid comedy to haunt those left behind. one moment changed it all, but left you a lifetime of second chances to never cross that moment on repeat. life isnt fair, but is it fair to the soul you loved and lost to also lose you? you cant honor the dead by dying.

SHE RAN ONE RED LIGHT. AND THAT WAS THE END. BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. YOU RUN THEM ALL THE TIME AND NOTHING HAPPENS. ITS NOT FAIR. BUT ITS ON PURPOSE.

There Are No Answers in the Darkness

close your eyes and close them tight. close your ears and close them tight. clench your fists and clench them tight. but is it safe? you cant be sure. youve closed off three of your sense, to protect, but now you cant see, cant hear, and cant feel. you responded in defense but what are you defending and who from? you wanted shutting it all out to make it all alright, but you cant find in the darkness. all it has to offer is empty and overbearing. it will exhaust you because youre foolishly searching for secrets locked in light. darkness only has one thing to offer you, a place to hide, for however long you should need it, but its good for nothing else. there is no comfort. no warm embrace waiting. no burden lifting moment. no clarity. darkness offers a morbid refuge for it demands you bring the pain from which you long to rest. you can only keep your eyes closed for so long and though you pray it all would be gone when you finally decide to see it wont be. the darkness has no answers. no words of freedom or comfort. no peace. stop hiding. you chained yourself to the false security now set yourself free. stop hiding.

im a riddle wrapped in a mystery dressed like a bitch

id tell you to be gentle with me, but im not made of glass. id tell you that words will never hurt me, but i have a heart. i should list all of the things that you should know about me but there will come a time when none of those things will be true...so ill spare you. sometimes ill cry when i shouldnt and laugh when i normally wouldnt. i may shut you out when i should let you in and i may bear my soul to the world. id tell you that simple conversation is the way to my heart but thats not true for the moments i dont want to listen. mysterious isnt it. who knew one heart, mind, soul, one girl could be so complicated?! act like you have me figured out and i promise to surprise you. pretend that after all weve been through you still dont know me and ill leave you. trust me and i will earn it. break me and i will burn it. cry for me and ill leave. stand for me and ill weep. are there answers in this twisted mess? swiftly yet slowly answer with your uncertain yes. life is an amazing contradiction. tell me its not. or is it? push me and the wrath will boil until the pressure cant be contained, unless im in a forgiving mood. promise to yourself that i wont hurt you but its not true. thats an absolute. confusing like a riddle and still riddled with perfect sense. its a bitch.

Twisted Like a Riddle

life is full of clues to puzzles, not answers to questions. society says there is no absolute and deludes us into thinking its something different for everyone. but there is absolution, but thats less fun than confusion, thats less tormenting than mindlessly searching. its unfair how for some the answers seem to come so easily where others struggle for hours or whole lifetimes. did they want a hint? did they ask but no one heard? life is suppose to be lived, not answered. the joy of it making sense isnt simething we should have to break for, its not worth the sleepless nights. the restlessness for lack of a solution is not life.

Cold Bones and an Aching Heart

thats whats on the inside, thats what my fragile strength hides, a soul thats simply surviving. weakness ill admit but never total defeat. i refuse to believe that. i refuse it for myself and i refuse it for you. theres a beautiful world that needs the soul of a beautiful girl and that beautiful girl is you. with trembling hands hold your head high, touch the sky. everyone looks to you to be strong because of the strength they see in you. you are not only the fragile girl that stares at you in the mirror. nor are you invincible as the world sees you. you are both and have the best of both worlds. enough frailty to never fail to feel and enough strength to heal when youve been broken.

YOU CAN

PAY NO MIND TO THE VOICES SCREAMING YOU CANT. TAKE YOUR TORTURED HEART AND GIVE IT BACK. WIPE THE TEARS FROM YOUR EYES. ITS NOT WORTH THAT. YOU WILL HAVE IT ALL. YOU CAN.

DONT TEMPT FATE TO TAKE YOUR HAND. BREATHE IN DEEP IT WONT BE BETTER IF YOURE GONE. LIFE COMES WITH ENOUGH PAIN ON ITS OWN. PUT YOUR RIGHT FOOT FIRST. YOU CAN.

YOUR PEN IS THE BARREL OF A GUN. WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU FEEL. DIG DOWN DEEP. COME UNDONE. YOUR HEART BEATS IN TIME WITH THE EVENING STARS. FOLLOW YOUR HEART. YOU CAN.

the measure of a moment

"will the quiet desperation of a life gone wanting drive us mad?"

how do you measure a life? is it the amount of love present? the sacrifices made? all the accomplishments? is it a combination of these things or is it none of them? when were gone what will the world remember? will it be what we did or who we were? what do you want them to remember? would you choose to life your life in such a way that when you die death could find no joy in it? there is a fullness of life to which few people live up to, theyre either too afraid or cant see what theyre missing. dont be one of them. look around you, at the faces that surround you, until you find those eyes that see so deeply into your soul that you feel naked. but let them take a long hard look and then let them show you what they see in you, the greatness that youre destined for. grab hold of that dream that those who love you are holding for you and fly. you will grow restless sitting idle waiting for your dream to come to you. how do you want to be remembered? how do you want your life to be measured? forever is a long time to not be able to go back and do it again.

songs to love and die by

you know ive got this theory, there are two kinds of people in the world. there are music people and there are lyric people. you know, the lyrics people tend to be analytical, all about the meaning of the song. theyre the ones you see with the cd insert out five minutes after buying it, pouring over the lyrics, interpretting the hell out of it. then there are music people, who could care less for the lyrics as long as it has a good beat and you can dance to it. sometimes i think it would be easier to be a music girl instead of a lyric girl, but since im not just let me say this... SOMETIMES THINGS FIND YOU WHEN YOU NEED THEM TO FIND YOU. I BELIEVE THAT. AS FOR ME, ITS USUALLY SONG LYRICS.

music is a necessity. i need it like i need to breathe. as long as it has a well arranged melody i will listen to is, but if it has great lyrics...that is a new feeling entirely. one i wish that i could write about, but perhaps im not suppose to be able to write about it. perhaps its only meant to be mine. i am a lyric girl. i want to know what the artist is thinking, feeling through their song. i want to know the story theyre telling and whether or not their story is like mine. sometimes a total stranger tells my story better than i ever could and for those brief minutes i dont feel so misunderstood and alone. sometimes in the moments that it counts the most there are no words to be found, its like words had never been written. and then when you find them in a song its like finding a piece of yourself you thought youd never get back. lyrics have saved me, brought me back from the edge more than anything else. sometimes i wonder what the world would be like without music, what my life would be like without its soundtrack. i have come to this conclusion...if music, chord and lyric alike, ceased to exist then so would i.

quiet in our town

YOU NEVER NOTICE HOW SOMEONES CHARACTER AND HEART CHANGES THINGS UNTIL THEY ARENT AROUND TO DO IT ANYMORE. THEN THERES JUST THE ACHE THATS LEFT. AND WE TRY TO FILL IT, BUT TO NO AVAIL. NOTHING CAN COVER THAT HOLE. AND THE HARDEST PART OF SAYING GOODBYE IS HAVING TO DO IT AGAIN, EVERYDAY. NO MATTER WHERE I GO IN THIS TOWN YOURE THERE TO GREET ME, TO WALK WITH ME, TO SMILE THAT SMILE THAT SAVED ME. BUT ITS NOT THE SAME, YOUR VOICE IS DISTANT, IT SOUNDS DIFFERENT SOMEHOW. THE DAY IS TOO QUIET AND THE NIGHT NOT QUIET ENOUGH. EVERYDAY I FACE THE SAME TRUTH, THAT TIME IS SHORT. AND I STRUGGLE TO MOVE FORWARD BEARING THE GUILT FOR LEAVING YOU BEHIND. BUT THEN I LOOK UP AND YOURE THERE, EVERY SINGLE TIME. ITS MORE QUIET IN MY WORLD WITH YOU GONE AND I HOPE THAT NEVER CHANGES. I DONT WANT MY LIFE TO BECOME SO LOUD THAT I CANT HEAR YOU ANYMORE.

with tired eyes, tired minds, tired souls, we slept

what happened to the innocence that use to be so evident? what happened to the courage that instantly gave hope to the despairing and life to the weary? sadly, life happened. it seems to give and take freely, unjustly. it pushes hearts filled with fragile strength to their limits and then abandons when they break. with fractured hearts we adapt and learn to survive the unexpected or to avoid it all together. oh how close we come all too often to cease living completely. were exhausted and have nothing left to give. and it only truly matters in the moments when the very best of who we are is being demanded and we cant deliver. its that moment we realize that somewhere along the way we either gave away or life stole away more than we thought possible. when we reach that crossroads we will find what were truly made of as we face the toughest decision of our life...achieve greatness or admit defeat. responsibility or regret. do we surrender to the complacency or defy all the odds? what are we going to do when life wears at all our struggling souls have left? it would be easy to close our eyes and allow the darkness to overtake us, but the day we allow that is the day that we truly lose ourselves.

Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.

why a cape? superheroes wear capes and so do the little boys(and girls)that idolize them. but why a cape? the cape comes with the notion of being invincible. untouchable. unstoppable. as we grow up it seems to become less appropriate to wear a cape in situations where we would need one most, like the first day of a new job, our wedding day, or the moment we lose a loved one. but the point is not the cape itself. its everything the cape represents. justice. freedom. courage. hope. determination. it stands for everything we need to get our feet off the ground and soar above the trees. theres nothing standing in our way when were flying.

More than My Last Breath

one dream. one goal. one vision. one step. its that first one that matters most. that first step gets you on the plane, in the car, through those double doors. if you take that first step it will change the rest of your life, it will change you forever if you dont. the question isnt whether or not you want what youre reaching for, but how much you want it. what will you let stand in the way of you and your dream. you cant spend your life telling yourself youll have time, because one day youll wake up and time will have run out. it what what you want to remember with your last breath? would you want to live a long life only to come to the end and have your dreams left unlived OR have your life cut short knowing all your dreams came true? tough questions because they force you to be honest with yourself. you confront your deepest fear of how much you truly believe in yourself. con you be that honest? your brave enough to take a chance on someone else, be brave enough to take that same chance on yourself. i want my dream come true, all of them, every last one, more than my final breath. do you?

Chord and Lyric

Some things are meant to be and theres that beautiful moment when it all falls into place. But when do you know? How do you know? Do you know at all, anything? There are those who see their future in someone elses eyes and nothing but death itself will keep them from holding it. For others its that moment, where they can look back and say with absolute certainty that moment was the one that changed it all. Like the love of your life saying 'i do' or the heartbeat of your unborn child. Life is full of moments where the background music becomes the narrator of a beautiful story and from that moment on you hear that song and are reminded of how perfect and simple life can be and has been. Sometimes the lyrics speak of darkness and pain and the music doesnt quite fit. If you can steal away to a place quiet enough to hear the melody then do. Let it tell you of the moments so grand and gorgeous.

I DIDNT COME TO WRITE A TRAGEDY, A LOVE STORY, OR A COMEDY. I CAME TO TELL THE STORY OF A GIRL I ONCE KNEW WHOS LIFE WAS FULL OF NIGHTMARES AND DREAMS COME TRUE. AND IN THE FINAL VERSE OF HER SONG THE CHORDS AND THE LYRICS BECAME ONE.

Glorious Display

>THE PRICE OF FREEDOM IS TO FACE YOUR DEEPEST FEAR-THE COST OF HOLDING YOUR TRUEST LOVE IS EVERYTHING<

DAILY WE MAKE CHOICES WITH THE MINDSET OF WHETHER OR NOT WE COULD LIVE WITH WHATEVER WERE CHOOSING. BUT HOW OFTEN DO WE CHOOSE SOMETHING BECAUSE WE KNOW WE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT IT? THAT ANY NOTION TO THE CONTRARY WOULD BE A DENIAL OF THE FOLLOWING TRUTH: WE ARE INCOMPLETE WITHOUT IT.

ARE YOU BREAVE ENOUGH TO LAY IT ALL ON THE LINE WITH NO PROMISE OF ANYTHING IN RETURN? IN A WORLD WHERE SELF PRESERVATION IS OF THE HIGHEST PRIORITY IT WOULD DO US WELL TO RECONSIDER THIS. IS PUTTING YOURSELF ABOVE ALL ELSE REALLY WORTH IT? IF ANYTHING IS DONE OUT OF ANY SINCERITY OF HEART THEN IT WILL BE SELFLESS, SELF SACRIFICING, AND THERE WILL BE MOMENTS OF UNYIELDING AGONY. TWO WORLDS ARE MEANT TO COLLIDE IN THIS GLORIOUS DISPLAY.

IF I HAVE LEARNED ANYTHING ITS THAT EVERYTHING THAT IS WORTH THE PRICE WILL BRING A FIGHT TO THE DOORSTEP OF YOUR HEART. AND YOU CAN CHOOSE TO KEEP THAT DOOR LOCKED TIGHT OR YOU CAN SHOW THOSE WHO DARE TO CHALLENGE YOU WHAT YOURE MADE OF.

FADED INTO COLOR

your smile completes me every time...and just the same...when you break...i cant help but cry...ironically youre the strongest person i dont know...but i would die to have the story told...your story told...the world should know...theres no other you and no one close...each breath you take shifts the atmosphere...your beating heart creates fresh air...in your weakness you stand...and in your strength you carry your closest friends...you survived more than you believed possible...when the world said you couldnt...and he told you not to...you defied them all...not for a moment did you cease to fight...even in the silence of the darkness...your tears washed away the pain...shed the light...you are destined for greatness...and are more than half way there...cry your tears...but smile still...the road you walk will bring you round the bend...and everything you wanted will be there waiting...youve refused your hearts greatest desire...out of fear...because people always leave...but the one you want the most is returning...he was a little lost...but thats not hard to do in the pain of darkness...we all take turns hiding...but you chose to find...the road less traveled by...to fight...to demand your heart finally be satisfied...you begged for your rescue...and did not withold follow through...you let your heart open and vulnerable...to be broken or made whole...knowing if true love is a tragedy...the pain is worth the belief its worth it...youre the brave one every girl wants to be...the strength in your soul is at the heart of all envy...youd sacrifice it all to love and never lose...choosing the lesser of two evils...any life void of him would destroy you...the greatest act of love is sacrifice...and you would silently save your tears to cry at night...if you must...but both souls burn for the same love...and its just one more bridge to cross...in your beautiful life...every broken soul will be made whole...including yours...and in the moment of your final breath...the world will know you didnt give up...not on life or the love of yours...you lost your way...but the light always found and rescued you...the morning brought air that made life brand new...restoring what the night stole from you...it hurt deeper than you thought it did...but the end proved the pain worth it...you were content to rest in pieces...but love came to make you whole again...and the strength you cant hide with your smile...will change one life...will prove to one soul its worth it...the agony...the tears...the sacrifice...you lived the greatness to which you were called to by life...the most fragile of hearts put up the strongest...more unwaivering fight...

Deep City Lights

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear us that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We are all born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson

dont be afraid to do what the world says you cant...they dont know you...not like i know you...do you need me to believe...i will...i do...i saw greatness in you...from the first moment our eyes locked...i dont need to be convinced...in your heart i see it...i will follow your lead...and you can follow mine when you cant tell which way is up...dont give up...theres a beauty in you like none other...theres a grace in you that will save another...i love to just watch and smile...because theres a light in your eyes...that chases away the darkness...dont doubt what you can do...its all there inside of you...

Let Go and Believe...Can You Feel This?

take a deep breath...slowly inhale...and then release...theres something there now...something wonderful that wasnt there before...something you cant ignore...it will call you out of that darkness...with a passion so fierce...and an unstoppable fury...it will save you...even from yourself...take a deep breath...hold tight...but let go...slowly inhale...and then release...its your turn...what do you want most...close your eyes...breathe...dont pretend that you dont know...and stop hiding from the world...its all at your fingertips...just believe...take a deep breath...take that first step...one step back towards the light...its time...trust...your heart you cant outrun...nor do you want to...stop witholding what makes you whole...what makes life true...and good...youve been misunderstood...but its time to start fresh...take a deep breath...let go and believe...its time to lay hold of everything...every promise ever made...every dream youve kept at bay...you wont get today back...and you have no reason left to use as an excuse...now is the chance for you...to hold all youve ever wanted...and realize its more than you dreamed...take a deep breath...slowly inhale...and then release...now is the time to believe...


****What if I told you/Your tears/Haven't been ignored/And everything/That was taken/Can be restored****

I Keep Believing

>I wont give up like this/I will be given strength /And now that Ive found it /Nothing can take that away<

i cant forget my past-and if i tried to forget it-it would soon become the only thing that i would remember-theres much that i couldve done differently-but what ifs breed regret-and i dont want to carry that weight-every day comes with a new challenge-but its all for a purpose-thats the hope that i have to have-it wakes me up every morning-i dont want to simply put on a brave face-theres more to life than this-than this mess i sometimes feel like im stuck with-i look into the eyes of those around me-and i realize that i have more to give than i think i do-even in my weakness-what theyre searching for is sincerity-even if thats all i have to give-ill smile for tomorrow-for new beginnings-for the strength to keep standing-because its not just for me-someone else needs to know its possible-even when all the odds seem stacked against you-its never too late-and the adversary will never be so great-