It will be as long as you want it to be

I promised forever an eternity ago. but who knew it would seem like forever had come and gone so soon. ive tested the waters on what i should be feeling, what i want to be feeling in the midst of all of this. ive been angry and hurt. jealous and bitter. calloused and broken. determined and intentionally ignorant. afraid and hateful. and while for a time all of those made it better i never could let go. i promised forever and at your first opportunity you were out the door. no second thought. no hesitation. i felt wasted and used. i contemplated ways to ruin you. but none of that was me and i couldnt pretend to be someone im not. i wanted to lock the door behind you and never open it again. but the more i thought about it the more i couldnt. i promised forever and so forever it will be.