Turn It Around

He has us ducking and running
Hiding behind friends or work
Societal roles
And heaven forbid, church
His threats are empty and his lies are real
And he has us running
Afraid of the truth
Afraid of the weakness
Afraid to feel
He has us locked away inside a box
Convinced the world doesn't need another
David, Joshua, John, or Paul
He has us locking away or greatness
Selling the lie that the world
Can't
Handle all of it
That it doesn't want it and doesn't need it
And we know he's a liar
But we believe him
Because he's good at playing into our insecurities
But its time to turn it around
It's time to stop running
To stop hiding behind every pathetic excuse we can find
Because there is a solution to everything
In our weakness He is strong
And through Him all things are possible
Every step toward Him counts
And it doesn't matter how small
So stop running
Stop saying 'i can't' or
'there's someone better than me'
That's a lie in need of truth
Because there is a world in need of
The Jesus in you
So stop running
And inhale deeply
Turn around
And in your exhale proclaim the authority of your King
No more running
Turn it around
And force him into hiding
Force him to spend his days looking over his shoulder
Make him shudder at the sound of your name
The battle changes now
Right now
Turn it around

It's Like Looking In A Mirror

She's too strong for her own good
Wouldn't know how to be weak enough
Even if it's what she wanted
On her own for most her life
Everyday an unfair fight
One wrong move and she could lose
It all
So she plays it careful
Every step calculated
But the ground is shaking
And too unpredictable to anticipate
She holds her head high
And her shoulders hang in shame
She's looking for a way out
A footing on stable ground
And she'd do anything to turn it around
Except
For the list of things she won't
She's tired of doing this alone
But refuses to let go all control
She wears a smile on her tired face
Never having been kissed by grace
Secretly longing for something more
But what the world can't see
It can't take
And she's too strong
For her own good
But she'll never admit it
She'll keep telling herself and the world
'it's nothing'

Beautiful Girl-

Beautiful girl-
In this broken world
It tries to break you
On a daily basis
Tainting your innocence
Lessening your greatness
Beautiful girl-
In this cruel world
Every night becomes a fight
That you're sure you won't survive
You lock yourself so deep inside
It can't hurt what it can't find
Beautiful girl-
In this dying world
Your fragile heart longs for strength
And anything to numb the ache
Exhausted from all the pain
You see only one way out
Beautiful girl-
With a beautiful heart
Take my hand, were not far
Were on the edge of grace
And there's beauty in this pain

Un-Shocking News

I can't get the picture out of my head
I was shocked to get the news
But not by the news itself
I thought I use to know you
Now I know
I knew nothing
I thought the news would make me sad
Angry
Thought it would hurt me
And it would have
If
You had done it to me
But you did nothing
(you didn't even tell me)
The truth simply and
For a moment only
Stunned me
And then I moved on
Almost as if
I had heard nothing
And that's what I'll pretend
Because
None of it
Was anything
You said
Someone else thought
Your life was still an open book to me
I didn't think to mention
I didn't like what I was reading
So I closed it
I closed it before this chapter was written, but
I received an incomplete excerpt
(with a warning it only gets worse)
And now I can't forget it
I close my eyes and all I see
Is this horrific image
Of someone I once knew
Entangled with the enemy
All those times I heard you preach
And your pleading words made me weep
Now those moments make me sick
All your words the same
Hypocrite
But I'm not angry
You just won't find me
Very trusting
Because you don't know you
And I use to believe that even if
You didn't
I could
But now I know that's not
True
And I can't trust someone I don't know
Even if
I want to
(I learned that from you)
But you can trust me
The truth isn't going to hurt me
And I won't use the truth
To hurt you
You can tell me
Or don't
I'll pretend I don't know
I don't need all your secrets
I just need to know the person
Beyond all the mistakes
Even if that person
Is fragile
And afraid
I'm not angry
Neither am I hurt
And if I'm sad it's ony because
You thought you couldn't tell me


One day I'll read the whole story
From cover to cover
And I'll see things differently
One day the main character
Won't be a stranger


I believe that with all my heart

Seeing Things

I close my eyes and see her face
She's smiling
And I want to smile back
The smile ne'er lasts for long
Soon she's crying
And I want to cry but find I'm only staring
What was once littered with vivid detail
Is now a smudge
A shadow of what use to be
A faded memory
It's a dream
But not exactly
Because I am not always sleeping when I see

That girl

See that girl
The one on the corner
Eyes so green yet so sublte
You never wouldve known


She's always been the strong one
Never needed anyone
Or so she wants the world to believe


I use to be that girl
Kept everyone at arms length
Determined to make it alone
Running on the fumes of strength
Spent my days shutting out the world
And my nights crying til I could sleep
You see that girl
I see me


See that girl
The one sitting alone
A passion so fierce
But you never wouldve known


She's always been independent
Stubborn and capable
Or so she wants the world to believe


I use to be that girl
Kept everyone at arms length
Determined to make it alone
Running on the fumes of strength
Spent my days shutting out the world
And my nights crying til I could sleep
You see that girl
I see me


I want her to wake up
I want her to see
But I couldnt wake my self
Someone else had to save me


Next time you see that girl
The one who looks like she has it all
That's the one to watch out for
She's on the edge and ready to fall
Don't let her strength make you believe
Her stubbornness is only a testament to her frailties
I should know


When you see that girl
I see me

So Precious

So precious
So very precious


How do you make her believe it
If all her life she's been told different
How does a heart recover from this
From a life of aching and uncertainty


So precious
So very precious


How will she believe that's more than lip service
That it doesn't come with strings attached
Can she ever learn to trust the truth of this
If history has always taken it back


So precious
So very precious


What I wouldn't give for her to know it's true
What I wouldn't do to make her see
What I wouldn't forego to know that she believes
That she's precious
So very precious

Dad,

I worry about her happiness
About breaking the news she can't find it in this
It's everything she wants but not enough
And settling is better than believing it won't come
'it' being something better
But in settling you make the same admission
It's just your actions that are saying it
Nothing is going to be perfect
Even with the very best
What you lack is being content
And that's a process that you won't master in a lifetime
So most people quit before they even start
Singing the tune 'i can't' all the way to their grave
It's a damaging mistake
You hurt yourself and the ones you promised never to
I don't want that to be her
Insecure and alone
Always looking over her shoulder
Watching her past on repeat
The first take, the final cut
No chance for editing
She already knows something is missing
But would she do whatever it takes to have it
Does she even think she can
How do you tell someone their empty
When life has handed them so much
Without the gift of life itself
The rest of it means nothing
But could she see it that way
Would she be too afraid of letting go
Because of all that could change
My heart breaks for her because I see the longing
She tries hard not to acknowledge it
How do you tell, even yourself,
The one you love is not enough
How do you tell her she has that right
When she could lose that life
The one they planned
The one she tries so hard to want
The one she tries hard to convince herself is everything
Who knew that everything was going to feel so uncertain
That wasn't part of her plan
None of this was in fact
Truth is she never really had one
Life just happened and she went with it
Now she finds her heart in this mess and
She doesn't know what to do with it
She can't fix it and neither can he
She gave up trying to do it on her own
And doesn't trust him enough to let her heart go
So it lies in ruins on the floor
It's damp
And dark
And cold
But for so long now it's all she's known
What's the use in trying to change it
She's still not entirely use to it
But to attempt to change it's surroundings all together
She could lose herself and all of this
Forever
Is that a chance she's willing to take
If nothing works out the way she plans
It will simply be one more mistake
Another hurt her heart can't take
But what she forgets to understand
Nothing has gone the way she planned
Not once
That's the clause in 'free will'
It never really does
But she doesn't see that
She can't
She tries to make sense
But never fully understands
She has a head full of dreams
But a heart full of warnings
Don't do this
Don't admit that
Don't be honest, he won't come back
Her aching heart reminds her of all the ways it didn't work before
It logically seems the only option
Is to do nothing
But there's nothing logical about emotions
Dad
It's easy to say this
From the outside looking in
I see it on her face even she sits next to him
There's something missing
But she doesn't have a handle on it yet
When she does
I hope her heart is strong enough to take it
Especially if life takes it all away