Just How Human Am I?

i didn't want to do it
every ounce of me was telling me that i shouldn't
and i ignored every warning
was sure i could push past it
sure i could stay in control until after it
but i didn't make it to the end
i didn't even know i had lost control
all of a sudden
my heart was racing
and my body was shaking
and i was standing alone
trying to fight the tears
and regain control
and it wasn't happening
i just stood there
staring


then another's arms were around me
telling me to fall apart
i didn't want to
but i couldn't say no
my heart just let go


i'm usually good with words
but i couldn't find them
and i was shaking too much
to push those arms away
i crashed into them
and trembled