If Only You Knew

I don't want to let myself miss you/I don't want to give you the ability to hurt me/i'd rather pretend I don't care/it's the only way the bullets can't hurt me/I keep telling myself it's your loss/if only that were all of the truth/we both know it's my loss too/and without a say in the matter I lost more than you/you said goodbye/and all I want to do is scream your name/and beg for something different/to demand to know how this is fair/I wish I had words to stand up to you/but I can't even tell you I miss you