Now That Youre Gone

Now that you're gone.
Now that you're gone.
Now that you're gone.
Now that you're gone.


Now that you're gone this worlds a scary place. With you gone nothing feels the same. And I wish that I could be gone too.


Now that you're gone life makes less sense. With you gone my world lies in ruins. And I wish that I could be gone too.


Now that you're gone the sun fails to shine as bright. With you gone nothing comes close to feeling right. And I wish that I could be gone too.


Now that you're gone.
I can't do this alone and you're gone.
And I wish that I could be gone too.

Lips of A Stranger

It was a long hard year. With not a lot of moments to rest. If it wasn't one thing it was another. I was losing hope it would end. And then a breath of fresh air came in from the east. Just when i'd lost all my hope it rescued me. From the lips of a stranger came the words to keep my head above water. My whole world had been spinning, but suddenly it stopped. I wasn't lost.

Tell It to My Heart

I close my eyes. And all I see is your face. Burned in my mind. Are memories I wish to erase. Not because I regret them. Or don't want to remember. But right now they're holding hands with the ache. They say do the hard part first. But it's all hard. Forgive you. Forget it all. Tell it to my heart. If I could remember. Void of all tears. I'd close my eyes forever. And pretend you were here and not gone. But it hurts. And it's not getting easier. You tell me to move on. I wish I was that strong. But you call me like nothings changed. So I put on my bravest face. Doing my best to play my part. As you try to tell it to my heart.

Beautiful Torment

I close me eyes.
I see a vision.
I see the picture my words would love to paint.
I wait for the time.
Til I see clearly.
Til my words flow from pen to page.
But every now and then.
My vision remains a silhouette.
I'm enraptured to no end.
Perfect only in it's imperfection.
And it's beauty is my greatest torment.
Captivated by,
An art I can't complete.
It's eluding me.
I close my eyes.
I see a vision.
I see the picture my words would love to paint.
And there will come a day.
When I finish what my soul started.
Yet until that day.
I will play it's game.
While it eludes me.

You Need to Believe in Yourself

You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself
You saw something in me I couldn't see
You protected my dream when I stopped believing I could have it
You saw a greatness I didn't think was possible
And then one day it all fell into place
I saw it and better still I believed it
My mistakes became irrelevant
My doubts drained of all argument
My selfishness made my journey difficult
But not impossible
I wouldn't be here if my life had been void of your belief in me


And now it's your turn


To hear me speak of the greatness in you
Until you believe it
To know that I will protect your dream
Until you reach for it
To know I believe in you
When you think I should believe otherwise

Time to Let Go

You don't know who you are without this. And it's hard to see a future where it doesn't exist. But harder still living with it. Breathing with it. The burden of not knowing who you are. Ashamed to admit it. Afraid to attempt to fix it. For life doesn't exist without this. Can it? You tire at maintaining the walls of your world. Failing at maintaining who you are because you don't know. When the walls finally tumble, and they will, what becomes of your world? Who are you when nothings left? With nothing there to keep you standing where do you land? Don't you think it's time, to find out? Let go. Let them fall. Push the walls over. It's time to be done. It's time to let go. It will hurt, I promise. I promise you'll wish you hadn't. But the end will prove worth it, I promise. It's time to let go friend.

Looking @ You Looking @ Me

Looking at you looking at me. I know you know what I'm thinking. A crowded room and still so lonely. On solid ground and still I'm sinking.


Forming incoherent sentences. My lips can barely speak above a whisper. Remind me again how we wove this mess. Not so long ago this was so much easier.


(Life is full of change. By how did we end up this way?)


Looking at you looking at me. You know I know what you're thinking. Hands so full and a heart so empty. With all this change will there be healing?


Broken promises your company. No more tears left here to cry. Your fragile strength depleted. And none of this looks right.


(Life is full of change. But how did we end up this way? Your shoulder once was mine. I was the safest place for you to die.)


But that's all gone. And we stand across a crowded room alone. Wishing we could go back, but we know. It won't matter like before.


Looking at you looking at me. We know exactly what were thinking. There's still time to move past everything. Why are we wasting time waiting?

Trading Truth For Lies

I've wanted to tell you...for so long now...but it never seemed just right...been holding my tongue...for too long now...but I can't trade the truth for a lie...


Not anymore...


I'm coming clean...take me or leave me...I know what I feel and I won't hide it anymore...I'm not unafraid...but I'm seeing clearly...it's my second chance and I won't do it like before...


The truth are words I should not feel like I have to hide...from you...finally I'm strong enough to know I don't need your love...to tell the truth...


I'm in love with you...

Let Me Fall

Desperate cries for help are written in between the lines of words we write. You can hear them in the pauses between the words we say. Pleads for rescue from self destruction. But you weren't crying out for rescue, but release. You'd been saved by slipped from freedom into captivity. Your silent cries were not out of a need to be held up, bu let go. You plead your case and with clarity said what you wanted. Then came the verdict and was in your favor. So fall.

If Its Possible

If it's possible to love you more than yesterday, I do.
If it's possible to need you more than yesterday it's true. If it's possible to hold you longer than forever I will.
If it's possible for you to keep saving me please do.
If it's possible.

It's Okay

It's okay. It's okay.
I'll tell myself til I believe.
It's okay. It's okay.
My fear will never defeat me.
I may have fallen
But I'm not paralyzed
It's not over yet
My hands reach for the sky
It's okay


It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
I will be alright
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Won't give up this fight
It's okay. I'm okay.
Everything is going to turn out right
It's okay. It's okay.

Focus

FOCUS. The words are right there. I can see them. But I can't. Every time my eyes adjust. They fade further back. FOCUS. I can do this. I can scribe them before they disappear. Lost forever. FOCUS. I know this. These are my words. Based on my experiences. My feelings. These are my words about me. I can and cannot see them. FOCUS. I need to do this. I need to see them.
focus.
Focus.
FOCUS.
I know this.

I'm no Fool

Smile nice and wide. You think it keeps the bad inside. But I know better than to fall for that. There's no sparkle in your eyes. You spend your days trying to hide. But I know better than to fall for that.

You're hurting. Even a blind man could see that.

I'm no fool though you think you're fooling me. I've made the same excuse for not trusting anybody.

Eyes Wide Shut

Close your eyes
Hear the voice that changed your world
The tone can tell no lies
You're not looking with your eyes
But your heart

It's for you to decide
It can be as it was
Don't waste time
A love like this only comes once

It's here now
But not forever
Unless you hold on tight
Learn to trust yourself
And love forever
With eyes wide shut

When it gets tough
You turn to run
The pain the first time was enough
If it's worth it all
Give up everything
And close your eyes to see

Don't let love go
You may never see it again
Be afraid, you're not alone
But don't let fear decide
Trust your heart will get it right

My Way Home

Some days I feel like me
Other days I'm a stranger to myself
Don't always know where I'm going
But I'll get there if nothing else

I tried to make it on my own
And all I learned is I don't want to do this without you
Just called to tell you I'm coming home
Leaving was a mistake I'm glad to finally undo

(I miss my home)
(I miss the place I'm not afraid to be alone)
(I miss my home)
(I miss the arms that never will let me go)

Don't get me wrong, while I was gone
It was great to see the world
Standing at the top, in this big city
Was this small town, simple girl
But when the day was done and the sky was dark
I fought to close my eyes
To change the world, to save the world
I wanted you at my side
I need you at my side

I had a dream to do something real
And for something real to be something great
So I'm leaving here, for the place I belong

(I'm coming home)
(to the place I'm not afraid to be alone)
(I'm coming home)
(to the arms that never will let me go)
(oh I am coming home)

Fairytale Envy

//some believe in fairytales with happy endings/I believe this love story/would make even fairytales jealous/their story has no fire breathing dragons/no poisoned apples/no bitter queens/the only thing that ever dared to come between them/was life//

//for this boy/knew this girl would be his wife/it was love at first sight/there was no changing his heart or mind/and what a beautiful display/the day you saw their worlds collide//

//just like evey fairytale princess/she'd been awaiting the arrival of her prince/kept away in a castle she built for herself/held captive by her fear/but with the monster finally slain/awoke a heart long afraid to feel//

//and the girl/knew this boy was now her world/believed he would protect her/they'd conquer villianous life together/and what a beautiful display/the day they started forever//

//all fairytales have happy endings/and I gaurantee this would make them envious/they have a love that conquers all the odds/stacked against hem/this is what real love is//

//a boy and a girl/finally together/happily ever after//

If You Ask Me To

I'll put on a brave face for you. If you ask me to. I'll force that smile with tears in my eyes. If you ask me to. I'll tell you I'm happy for you though it's not true. Just ask me to.

I'll stand next to you without holding your hand. If you ask me to. I'll pretend I don't love you. If you ask me to. I will be your friend because I can live without you. Just ask me to.

You can ask the world of me. I'll give you everything you need. If you ask me to.

Imprisoned

Sometimes it feels like I'm faded and other times it's not even me. When did my heart get so rough around the edges? How am I still so incomplete? Unfinished and so unstable. So willing but so unable. I wrack my brain for common sense but it eludes me. I'm so aware but still can't tell you what I'm feeling. I try to talk myself into pulling it together, but I'm just not there. I'm paralyzed and aware.

Life is Ironic

I went away to look for something I thought I didn't have. And they say you'll know when you find it but I never did. Life is full of irony. Not all of it is funny. It can be a hard lesson to learn. Sometimes so uncomfortable it hurts. But you're not the only one. You can chase your dreams to the stars but they'll chase you right back, to where it all started. Just like that, life is ironic. So love and learn. And then go back to before you rounded that corner head long into your future. After all that time searching for what was staring you in thr face. Your dreams will take you to where it started, to where you knew what truly mattered. And just like that, life is ironic.

If Only You Knew

I don't want to let myself miss you/I don't want to give you the ability to hurt me/i'd rather pretend I don't care/it's the only way the bullets can't hurt me/I keep telling myself it's your loss/if only that were all of the truth/we both know it's my loss too/and without a say in the matter I lost more than you/you said goodbye/and all I want to do is scream your name/and beg for something different/to demand to know how this is fair/I wish I had words to stand up to you/but I can't even tell you I miss you

I'm Ready

Every time I think it's gone your voice comes screaming out of the silence/yelling absurdities/demanding reason/& every time I have to catch my breath/force it to a slow and steady pace/calm my heart/& ready myself again/slowly breathing out & in/I close my eyes and count to ten/here we go again/I'm ready

There's No Place Like Home

It's easy to forget what I'm doing here
Could twiddle my thumbs all I want but I won't disappear
I could close my eyes
Click my heels three times
And recite "there's no place like home"
But eventually
I have to open them again
And face reality
It's nothin like I imagined
It's not better
It's not worse
And some days it doesn't hurt
There's just me all by myself
Standing alone with no one else
And that may sound redundant but
It's exactly how I feel
Sticking out like a sore thumb
And none of this is real

Sometimes I Dont Know Where this Stuff Comes From

with eyes closed and shallow breathing
i listen to the silence, hear it screaming

with fists closed tight and knuckles white
grinning just to show ill bear it
here, standing up and not yet strong
wanting but unable to move

struggling to control all impulsiveness
breaking form to avoid a mess

with eyes locked firm on a moving target
praying to keep you out of it
guarding my heart so i dont break it
endurance is my best friend

there's something here

there's something waiting in the wind
there's something holding tight to me
there's something burning in my spirit deep


there's something here to catch my breath
there's something here when nothing's left
there's something that i can't live without


there's something holding my chin up
there's something worth not giving up
there's something better than to simply survive


there's something sacred wrapped in mystery
there's something more here than history
there's something that i can't put my finger on


there's something here
there's a reason here
there's a purpose here waiting for me


there's something in that look
there's something in those eyes
there's something here that makes this more than life

Needing to be Gone

I feel like I can't let go til I'm gone/everything is just past my

fingertips/and I'm fighting to hold on/there's nothing yet to take the

place/of all I've held for years/Its hard to still be here/time is

dragging on/the rain won't let up/I cry here and there/but it never

seems enough/I want the water works to wash away the last ounces of

pain/but when dry my eyes/the sting remains/there seems to be no

getting over it/not while im here/and though I hate to leave it all

behind/I can't wait til I'm gone/when all the pain becomes an after

thought/fading into the shadows I'll leave behind/my heart is ready

for right now to be the time/I need to be gone/