play the cards youve got

if you look in his eyes you see the guilt he carries. the regret he cant shake for the choices he cant change. not that he would do them differently, but just maybe. maybe somewhere along the road he would have been sober enough to forgive himself. to let go of the anguish and make room for something better. the choices he made were the best for the times, but maybe he forgot why. or maybe why doesnt matter because why doesnt make his life any easier to live with. id like to think that id given a second chance hed try to make up for his past, but hes so use to running and no ones ever stopped him. he didnt like the hand hed been dealt, he wasnt responsible enough for it, and so he folded it. he forfeited what was his but he knew it wasnt his by right, and his time, his chance at doing it right had come and gone. but if he could do the best with what he had and somehow do right by those who didnt choose his life maybe it would make up for the damage hed still cause. maybe. hed like to think he only hurt himself, but pain, no matter whos it is, is never easy to deal with. especially if you spend your life refusing to rise above the guilt. he never thought he could do it and so he never tried. and maybe its for the best since he wasnt gambling with only his life. maybe. but maybe not. he played the hand life dealt him and by forfeit he lost. and maybe it only bothers him. maybe.