Running Out Of Time

I thought maybe it was jealousy plaguing me
That you somehow got the life I wanted
But I don't want to be you
And I don't want your life
I'm just afraid you're running out of time
Running out of time to get it right

Forced With Ease

desperate hearts turned to desperate measures

fragile strength results in fallen warriors

stubborn words and stiffened limbs makes for an unnecessarily trying

way to live

but this is how we escape

this is how we've learned to survive when hope becomes nothing

more then an impossible chance

this becomes our lonely struggle when we clench our fists til

knuckles run white

unwilling and afraid to relax our hands

fearful no one is brave enough to hold us when we're too weak

to stand

we hold our breath just to hold on

but we forget that breathing is a necessity

we fill our lungs and then close tight our mouthes

praying it eases our pain somehow

even in the slightest varying degree

maybe with no air our hearts will stop aching

but that only stops the beating

and ceasing solves nothing

Trying to Be Strong

it's like it was a dream

staring at the house from across the street

and though i couldn't see her eyes

she cried, she cried

we've been dreaming way too long

all she could say is "im trying to be strong"

i wish i could tell her it will be okay

but it's gonna be a hard day, it's gonna be a hard day

you don't always have to be the strong one

holding your breath just to hold on

it's not good for your soul to do this alone

i don't need you to be strong for me

promise you won't hesitate to need, anything

i've got strength enough for the both of us

Typical

it's typical
everything about the situation is
it's typical that i would hope she's changed
typical for her to remind me just how hopeless that is
typical that i would give her the benefit of the doubt
typical for me to be disappointed
typical for me to feel like an idiot
and it's typical for her to be none the wiser


it's typical
and yet still i am surprised
surprised that after all these years i've still hoped in vain
surprised that i would expect anything different from her
(at least she's consistent)
surprised that it hurt as much as it did
and surprised that i didn't see it coming
even all my surprise is typical

I WON'T

I WON'T BEG FOR MY WAY
I WON'T BEG YOU TO STAY
EVEN IF THAT'S THE WAY I WANT IT


I WON'T PLEAD FOR YOUR TEARS
I WON'T DEMAND YOU STAND RIGHT HERE
NEXT TO ME
EVEN IF THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I'LL MAKE IT


I WON'T SQUEEZE YOUR HAND TIGHTLY
I WON'T ADMIT THAT NIGHTS WITHOUT YOU ARE FRIGHTENING
EVEN IF THAT MEANS I SLEEP ALONE


I WON'T EXPECT YOU TO KNOW WITHOUT ME TELLING YOU
IT'S NEVER WORKED THAT WAY BEFORE


BUT I WON'T SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU ANY MORE

AND

how can we be so close

AND

still so different

pieces to the same puzzle

AND

we still don't fit...we never have

im up to all the same old tricks

AND

expecting the end to be something different than its ever been

i bend over backwards to make it work

AND

your response is all too predictable

Rachel's Song

We had a good run
It’s been a good year
All the laughter
And the hurt
And the love
And the tears
It’s all been worth it
I would’ve been lost without it
I would’ve been gone without you

I had a great time
Every moment changed my life
Every step was exactly what I needed
And I needed you every step of the way
I don’t know how much more I can say
It’s been beautiful to have your hand to hold
It’s been soothing to know I’m not alone
To know I’m going to see your face

I don’t know if I can go on knowing tomorrow won’t be the same
As yesterday

It kills me to think
That after all this time
I would really leave

I couldn’t stand on my own two feet without you
Now I’m taking risks
Unafraid to lose

You told me I could do this
And now I am
But with only the shadow pain of you
Squeezing my hand
I’m breathing deep and I’m leaving home
It just hit me that it’s really time to go

I close my eyes and see your face and I know
I love you so…
I love you so…

And the world is calling my name
But it doesn’t say it the way that you do
There’s no voice like you
None like you

We had a good run
It’s been a good few years
Every step of the way has now brought us here
And I was so sure that when the time came
I would be strong enough and confident enough
To walk away
With a smile on my face
But…

I don’t want to be where you can’t be
And I can’t bear the thought of you out of reach
I was so ready to show the world what I’m made of
And with one foot out the door realized
I don’t care what it thinks
All that matters is you

You made the best moments of my life
And I want you to make the next moments of my life
Without you
The world seems less bright
And the shimmer starts to fade from my eyes
I just don’t have the passion when your hand is not in mine

We had a good run
And I thought I could let it end
But then I put my strength to the test
And to my peaceful relief
I failed that test miserably

I don’t ever want to say goodbye
The world can beg for me and plead for me and cry
But none of it is worth it if you’re not in my life
So I’m not moving forward
Unless your stride matches mine

Stuck Between Two Rocks

it's a catch 22
no matter what i choose
i could lose
granted none of this is about me
so then the question becomes
why would i get involved at all
good question
and i have a good list of reasons
but are any of them enough
enough to justify saying anything
but in knowing what i know
i am responsible for the truth
and i dont want to use TRUTH
to justify my actions
but what do i do
pretend i dont know
let them learn the hard way
and then say "i told you so"
been down that road already with no lessons learned
everyone is hoping for the best
but they did that last time
and it didnt work
to say it
or to not
these are my two rocks
downsides to both seem to outweigh the benefits of each
and everyone keeps saying that i will do the right thing
they are sure of it
but what if i dont know what the right thing is
or what if i think that both things could be right
speaking up and staying silent
can there be two right things
and if so then can i do them both
i keep hoping that somebody knows
but they keep telling me that i will when im supposed to
so until then
i will feel like i am harboring a fugitive by hiding the truth

awesome...